nut hugger
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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