Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
