if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
