Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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