Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
