did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
