is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
