i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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