she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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