so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
