I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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