They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
