You're a womanizer and a bitch.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
