Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
