Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
