Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
