Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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