I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
