i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
