So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
