Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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