Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
