Barsexuality is the new black.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
