It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
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