whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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