Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
