Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
