Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
