4 words: hood of his car
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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