I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
