Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
