the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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