My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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