My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
