there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
