Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
