she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
