How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
