So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Congratulations! We have a period
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize