Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
