I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
