Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You are the jesus of drinking
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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