some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
A+ Viking dick
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
