Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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