So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Can I color on your dick again?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
