Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
