We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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