don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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