he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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