I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
